They grow up so fast- one moment they’re 7 pounds and wanting to snuggle all the time and the next they’re getting their driver’s license and the keys to their first car. It’s startlingly scary how quick everything happens when you have children, and although getting a driver’s license is the first step to independence as a teen and young adult, it’s also one of the most frightening.

When teens begin to drive, they may get into their fair share of fender benders, but sometimes those fender benders can turn into severe accidents that seriously injure or kill people or themselves. Fatalities can happen especially if speeding, texting or in the worst cases, alcohol is involved. Teens are more likely than adults to engage in risky behavior, simply because they are young and often try to show off or be “cool” for their friends because they want to fit in.

As adults, we may know some common-sense rules of the road, but our teenagers might not.

They’re inexperienced drivers, their brains are still developing, and they are more easily distracted than we are as adults. There’s a very clear reason why insurance rates are high for that demographic; no matter which way you slice it, they are riskier drivers, and have many contributing factors as to why that is.

 Fortunately, as a parent, we are able to help them be safer drivers.

 To do that, we just have to teach them and educate them on rules of the road such as speed limits, wearing a seatbelt, limiting passengers, different traffic signals and what they mean, and other common reasons why car crashes happen. You may think your teen isn’t listening to you, but they will remember your advice about driving when it matters most to them.

 

When teaching your new driver, it’s important to be patient, let them ask questions, and try to keep the conversation going by checking in with them and “quizzing” them as needed to be sure they can be safe drivers and are knowledgeable about driving.

 

In North Carolina, there is a “5-to-drive” slogan that can help teens remember some common-sense things when driving. These can all be used as an “ice breaker” to a discussion about driver safety. Many of the following are also applicable to adults and it never hurts to get a refresher.

 

They are as follows:

 

1. No drinking alcohol and driving, or using other substances that could impair judgement while driving. Knowing that it’s not just illegal substances that can cause a reduction in reaction time, sometimes something as simple as an allergy medication like Benadryl can make you sleepy and increase your risk of a crash.

2. Putting on your seat belt for every trip, and for every seat. In 2019, nearly half, or 47% of teens who died were not wearing their seat belts when the crash occurred. Even if you aren’t going too far, you should still wear your seatbelt, as many accidents still can happen close to home.

3. No phone use while driving. Whether you’re talking on the phone, browsing social media, switching music on your Bluetooth or car, or engaging in the ever-notorious texting and driving, any phone use while driving causes a distraction and increases your risk of getting into an accident. One study showed that half of teen drivers on cellphones did not brake or steer their vehicle before they crashed.

4. DO NOT speed. A crash can be fatal even at speeds as “low” as 45 mph. The faster the car is going, the increased chance of lethality. High speed is the most common cause of fatalities when driving. The human body is not built to withstand much impact from a car accident. Be mindful of your speed.

5. No more than one passenger at a time. With each additional passenger, the risk of being in a fatal car crash goes up.

 

A couple facts to help break the ice with your teen when they become drivers and to make them think about driving safety:

 

• Even if a car is traveling “only” 30 miles per hour, a passenger that isn’t buckled in their seatbelt can weigh as much as a midsize car when thrown in a crash. That impact can in fact kill another passenger.

• Even if your eyes are on the road when you’re driving and while talking on the phone, you can become cognitively “blind” to up to 50% of your surroundings, increasing your risk of getting into a car accident.

 

Remind and encourage your teen to “speak up” if they are in a car with a friend who is driving dangerously and they don’t feel safe.

 

Help them learn to be direct with how they are feeling, how they can be helpful to the driver to help them avoid an accident, and bringing up law enforcement as a last resort approach to telling the driver how they feel. If your teen allows it, or wants to learn more about how to handle these situations, it may be beneficial to “role-play” with them to help them rehearse what to say, how to say it and when to say it, and get comfortable with expressing themselves if they ever need to speak up for themselves in a dangerous situation. Encouraging confidence in your teen to speak up can save their life. Having a discussion with them about driving safety shouldn’t be meant to scare them, but to let them know what can happen if any of the “5-to-drive” guidelines or general driving safety rules aren’t being followed.

Creating an open and honest dialogue can greatly improve their chances to be safe drivers, especially if you begin to discuss the effects and facts of drinking and driving, as being under the influence while driving contributes to countless fatalities every year.

You can tell them not to drink until you’re blue in the face, but shaming them or getting incredibly angry if they do drink just tells them you aren’t a safe space for them to tell you how they feel or inform you of what they might be doing.

Being very angry with them for drinking or being somewhere that drinking is happening, could make them feel like they can’t call you if they need a ride and could make them too scared to tell you.

Tell them that if, at any time they are drinking or their friends are drinking, to call you instead of driving themselves or getting in the car with a drunk friend. You may be upset or disappointed that they were in that environment, but it’s better they feel comfortable enough to call you if that happens instead of trying to problem solve it for themselves, which could end badly.

To be safe drivers, parents and teens need to work together, and remember that driving is a privilege and not a right. Gently remind your teen that in order to keep that privilege, they have to follow the rules. By doing so, you are encouraging them to be safe and responsible drivers and enjoy the independence that comes with getting their driver’s license for the first time.